Changes

My mind has changed.

I’m not quite sure how it happened. All I know is: the world I live in is different, and I both like it, and dislike it all at the same time.

When I think about it, this has been happening quietly since the day I was born. My child mind was different to my teenage mind. My teenage mind was different to my adult mind.

This new self: she surprises me, daily. What delights her. What disgusts her. What she dreams of.

Who she is.

Many women my age attribute these changes to peri menopause, which they say is a sort of puberty for the middle aged. I’d agree with that observation. Hormones are all powerful creatures, and it’s fascinating what mine are doing to me.

Especially my mind.

I resist some of the changes, because I don’t understand them.

I’m frightened of some of the changes for the very same reason.

I often remind myself to relax and just be with it all. There is nothing I can do about these changes, but to accept them as a new version of self, and treat myself with care.

That seems a lovely gift to give a changing mind, body, spirit.