I stopped
and I said to myself:
I am in pain.
I did not try to hide it.
Or justify its reasons.
I did not try to pretend
the hurting wasn’t there,
or as true as it truly was to me.
For a moment I looked around
for the escape I’d always looked for.
The rug to hide all the knowing beneath.
The rug of make believe: the chance
to believe that the pain did not exist.
But it did.
It lived in my heart.
And though I wanted it to leave…
I let it be.
And I knew it was okay
not to shine it away
with my sun.
