Growing Pains

It’s like the Incredible Hulk. When he transitions from man to beast.

It’s not a pretty process, the stretching of the psyche. A shifting into the new. It’s clunky.

And really, really hard sometimes.

Learning who and why I am the way I am has been a fascinating process. Meeting the parts of myself that have quietly been in pain for many years waiting to be seen and loved back to life, has been both beautiful and incredibly painful.

I’m in a painful stage, right now. My heart feels tender, and so much has been coming up from the early years of my life, particularly from when I was bullied in high school. I have loved others deeply, in my life. But right now, that little girl within my heart is the receiver of more love than I have given any other. I am her protector, now. I get to whisper to her that she will be okay, and while she is not, I am not going anywhere.

It’s powerful reparenting.

And it’s the greatest gift I’ve ever given or recieved.