Grieve

Just to breathe. It’s all I’ve come for, to release. To become the wind I know myself to be when I fully let go of what holds me back.

An hour ago, I watched my little boy’s grade four class clutching sweetly at the neck of their teacher of the past three weeks. She’s leaving them. The love on their faces, the joy of connection mixed with a sort of sadness was the most precious thing to see. So innocent. No tears. Just cuddles, and smiles.

It made me think of how precious and kind these small humans still are. How life and its impossibilities has touched so few of them, and that all there seems to be is unconditional love and kindness.

I ached for adults. The ones who hurt, and so hurt others (most of us, some more than others on both accounts.) I ached because I miss that feeling of freedom. That feeling of safety that comes from blissful ignorance.

It’s so hard to accept that my own innocence has gone.

I grieve for it.